


Simian Crease

by thehiddengrace



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst, Bittersweet Ending, Cheating, Developing Relationship, Established Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Mark Lee, M/M, Not Enough Polyamory Negotiations, POV Outsider, POV Second Person, Pining, Soulmates, Wanting Things You Can't Have
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-06
Updated: 2020-12-06
Packaged: 2021-03-10 04:53:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,518
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27908542
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thehiddengrace/pseuds/thehiddengrace
Summary: Life is all about settling, in a way, finding something you're mostly happy with and holding it tightly, right? And Donghyuck's mostly happy, isn't he?Love's a funny thing, and the name written across Donghyuck's simian crease does nothing but make his life harder.
Relationships: Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Mark Lee, Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Wong Yuk Hei | Lucas, Mark Lee/Wong Yuk Hei | Lucas
Comments: 11
Kudos: 48





	Simian Crease

**Author's Note:**

> A simian crease is when the head line and the heart line are fused. In palm reading, this signifies a really intense personality, someone who has trouble separating their heart and head.
> 
> This is not light hearted like most of my NCT writing has been. Sorry if that's what you were looking forward to!

He's got names written on his hands. Choices. You see it, even if he tries to hide it; it's why he keeps his fingers curled over his palms.

He's frowning and Donghyuck's pretending to smile, mouth stretched wide and comforting. "You'll be okay, won't you?"

"Don't be ridiculous." He laughs at Donghyuck with his curled fists and his weary eyes and a line of exhaustion down his face. "It's just Yukhei."

Donghyuck's not sure how to tell Mark that he's always kind of ridiculous when it comes to him.

*

"I'm losing you to him, aren't I?" Donghyuck asks, melodramatic and eyes heavy with sleep when Mark comes back. You don't think he means it but it's almost time to get ready for practice and you can't remember a single time Mark's stayed out until dawn with Donghyuck. You don't think he begrudges Mark's friends, you don't think he's jealous. It's just... just... Just what, really?

"Of course not." Mark smiles but it's not very reassuring. You can read the lines on his face, the names on his hands, and you know there's a part of him that wants to say he's not Donghyuck's for Donghyuck to lose even though he is.

He smells of sweat and Lucas's cologne, something deep and earthy that's like nothing in any of the stores Donghyuck's ever been in, when he climbs into bed. Mark's arms are cold and the alarm's already ringing but they lay there anyway.

*

You can hear Mark rolling his eyes while Donghyuck's in the shower. He's got coffee in one hand and his phone in the other and the line of exhaustion down his face has grown. "Of course I got home fine."

Lucas's yawning. "Just making sure. You're going to rehearsal today, aren't you? Taeyong'll kill me if you're not."

"Not like Hyuck would let me miss it. He's even worse than hyung."

Lucas is silent for a moment. Sometimes, you know, their friends don't know how to take them. Everyone's got to know, you think, but everyone seems to ignore it, ignore them, act innocent and naïve when Donghyuck's hands are all over Mark. "Then let's meet for lunch. It'll be fun."

Mark thinks about Donghyuck dripping wet in his shower, tendrils of hair curling on his neck and slim hips and miles of leg. He thinks about skipping practice altogether, making Donghyuck skip practice too, even vaguely wonders what Taeyong would do about it. "Can't. Already made plans."

"Come on bro, no you haven't."

"With Haechan."

"Oh."

"Yeah. Sorry." And it's not like when he typically apologises, he really means it this time. He hangs up hastily when Donghyuck exits the bathroom, his hair long and wet and waterdrops rolling down his back, and Mark doesn't know why he feels kind of guilty.

The names on his hands are shining.

*

They've been there forever, the names written in invisible ink on the palms of Mark's hands. There used to be more, back when he was young and impressionable and in love with himself - a girl in his class back in high school, Johnny, an actress he once worked with, Taeyong, his neighbour's cute girlfriend - but they've all faded with time and his palms are mostly smooth, broken up by the heart line, two names, and the fate line.

There are names written on everyone's hands, you know. Choices. Chances at love, if the situation is right.

There's only one name on Donghyuck's palm. There's always only been one.

*

You don't think Mark'll notice it on his own because he hasn't yet and it's been years, but you think Donghyuck might and he does, all at once, a crashing revelation in the middle of dance rehearsal. Donghyuck's always been like that, observant even if no one realises it. He sees it in the cool lines of Mark's body, the way he angles himself in the break room.

Donghyuck stumbles over his choreography, the steps as familiar as breathing, and Mark notices that. They all do.

Donghyuck smiles at everyone and laughs about dust and on the next run through he does everything right so nobody worries.

Maybe Donghyuck notices it first because he's seen it before, the way Mark subconsciously tries to cover up his awkwardness, the way his eyes dance and his hands linger. Donghyuck can't see the choices written out on Mark's hands (not the way you can; you still can read the names, as clear as ever, their markings red against the pale of Mark's skin) but he can read the interest in Mark's angles, the way Mark leans towards Lucas's breath, and it's just like Donghyuck can see the name written alongside his anyway.

Maybe Donghyuck just thinks it's a harmless crush. Maybe he thinks Mark's always been this way towards Lucas. Maybe he just trusts Mark not to act on his interest. Whatever the case, Donghyuck decides not to worry. You kind of wonder why he has that kind of trust in someone like Mark.

*

You're watching them together, piled on the floor of Mark's bedroom. Lucas is stretched out, taking up as much space as he can, and Mark's curled up against the foot of the bed, giving Lucas as much room as he can as they crowd around his laptop. It's a subconscious thing for both of them, the subtle game of give-and-take they fell into years ago.

Donghyuck doesn't kiss Mark when he comes in like he might have if it were Taeil or Jungwoo in the room with them, just pressed close. "Can I stay here tonight?" he whispers. He doesn't look at Lucas and his heartbeat stays steady.

Mark blinks. "Why are you bother asking?"

Donghyuck smiles, the curve of his mouth brushing against Mark's. "Lucas's eavesdropping."

Mark looks over to see Lucas smiling back, his mouth open and wide. "You're so cute, Markie," he says.

Mark rolls his eyes and turns back to the laptop, but you can still see his blush.

Donghyuck keeps out of the way, doesn't try to infringe on their time, lets them watch whatever movie they'd started. He sits on Mark's bed with his leg hanging off where he can absentmindedly nudge Mark every once in a while, sending texts to Renjun. If he were paying attention, like you are, he'd see the looks Lucas keeps shooting towards him.

When you look closer, you're kind of surprised to see Donghyuck's name glowing on Lucas's hand.

*

Mark's hands are hot and pressed against Donghyuck's spine. Donghyuck leaves them there, doesn't try to move or squirm because they're comforting in a sense - they make him think of home and melting icecream and fuzzy pyjamas - and his heart beats faster.

Mark doesn't giggle, not like he used to when all this was new and unfamiliar and a little alarming. But Donghyuck's okay with that, really. At least, he thinks he should be. Because life is all about settling, in a way, finding something you're mostly happy with and holding it tightly, right? And Mark's mostly happy, isn't he? Donghyuck asks you over and over and over, but Mark's the one that answers.

"Of course I am." And then he's smiling just like he used to, wide and crooked with pieces of his heart in his eyes.

You look away, because sometimes you just can't stand them when everything is syrupy sweet.

*

You still don't think Donghyuck's jealous. Not even when he enters NCT's practice room to find Lucas pressing Mark against the wall. Maybe he's already resigned.

"Hi Haechannie!" Lucas chirps happily.

Donghyuck smiles and pretends he can't see the way their bodies are lined together. Mark's face is flushed and his eyes are spitting like they always do when he's more uncomfortable than angry.

"I swear to god, Yukhei, if you don't let me go, they're going to have to get Yang Yang to replace you in Supe4M because I'm going to destroy you." Mark's had better threats, probably has a thousand sitting in the back of his head, but Lucas's thigh is between his and there's sweat rolling down the back of his neck from the effort of staying still.

Donghyuck ignores that too.

Lucas smiles and tries to pat Mark on the head. "We don't promote in SuperM that often and I'm sure WayV will wait a few weeks while I'm in the hospital."

"Who says there'll be anything left to put in the hospital?"

"You're really scary today, Markie," Lucas says, indulgingly, before craning his neck around. "Haechannie!"

Donghyuck looks up from his bag.

"Let's have dinner tonight! Mark, too."

Donghyuck looks at Mark and Mark's saying no with every silent glance. "Okay," he agrees easily.

You're starting to see how this pending downfall could be all Donghyuck's fault.

*

The names are staring at you.

You don't understand really, because while Mark has two and Donghyuck has one, Lucas still has countless names, written and rewritten on his hands, hanzi curling around his knuckles and hangul licking his wrists, invisible ink covering his skin like lace gloves. Sometimes, like now, when you're bored and Lucas's over, you try and read the names but most of them are too jumbled to make out in the mess.

Maybe it's because he's not like Donghyuck and Mark, not sentimental at all but romantic with the desperate confidence that things won't ever last.

And that's the real reason you hope he leaves them alone. Because even if Donghyuck insists on not being worried, concerned, you are, and you just know that Lucas could never suit either of them, couldn't make them as happy in the long run because Lucas doesn't even really believe in the long run while Donghyuck and Mark both cling to what they're eventually going to be.

*

Lucas shows up while Mark is in Osaka with a bunch of the others. You narrow your eyes but Donghyuck never heeds your advice and let's him in.

"What are you doing here?" Donghyuck asks. His hands are on his hips, but he doesn't look imposing or intimidating - though, that could be because of the oversized pyjamas and the fountain of hair on top of his head secured with a pink scrunchy and the soft smile all over his face.

Lucas shrugs. "I miss Mark. So I thought I'd come eat all of his food." He plops on the couch and pretends to shut his eyes. "Feed me, Haechannie!" he demands playfully.

Donghyuck rolls his eyes, sighs, but turns back to the kitchen when the timer goes off. He pulls his dinner off the stove (too much for one person but not quite enough for two) and dutifully gives Lucas half his food.

Lucas helps Donghyuck carry everything to Mark's room (the hyungs aren't here to stop them) and they're halfway through dinner and a game show before Lucas speaks. "So. What are you doing here?"

Donghyuck sort of freezes before he laughs. His tension goes up a few notches but Lucas swirls his noodles like he's not expecting much of anything. "I kind of live here."

"Then why did you ask Mark if you could stay over last week?"

"Because I kind of don't live here."

"That. Kind of makes no sense."

Donghyuck shrugs.

*

You think Donghyuck and Mark are perfect for each other, which is ridiculous because you've never really believed in perfect before them and you don't want to be so easily swayed. You even ignore what Fate has written on their hands because you've seen that go wrong a thousand times before and you want to believe that even if they weren't Fate's perfect chance at perfect love that they would have eventually found themselves together anyway. Because they are just that meant to be.

Mark comes home after being gone for two weeks. He throws his bags down in the hallway and stomps around and leaves soggy footprints everywhere. He gripes about Donghyuck stretching his favourite shirt and Donghyuck knows it just means that he's tired from the flight, he's grumpy because Dream stresses him out every time he has to leave them and they all attack him with their pitiful eyes because he doesn't love them anymore, he just wants some quiet time.

Donghyuck sits there and nods along until he gets bored and tells Mark to shut up. Mark acts shocked, even if he's not, and they hide under the blankets in Mark's bed until Mark gets bored.

The next morning, Donghyuck makes breakfast for everyone on the 10th floor and when they go to dance practice, they both pretend like Mark wasn't gone for two weeks and fall into the same exact routine as before. It kind of comforts you, how they never really change.

Then Lucas breezes in and you feel kind of frozen because you know he wants everything to change so fast. For the first time you can remember, you dread things falling apart when Mark smiles wide with pieces of his heart in his eyes.

Donghyuck watches Mark preen and shift under Lucas's attention; he feels his heart shake and and his gut tighten.

*

Mark comes home that night giggling and besotted with Lucas in tow.

"Hey, shove over," Mark whispers and Donghyuck dutifully rolls onto his side. Mark and Lucas climb in and start snoring, but Donghyuck lays there for hours wondering what Mark really wants. Wondering if he really cares enough about what Mark wants.

*

It's not until Mark says Lucas's name, soft and breathless and _Yukhei_ , in the middle of the night that Donghyuck finally says something.

"Look. Mark's in love with you."

Lucas blinks. "What?"

"Mark's in love with you, but I'm not giving him up."

Lucas is still blinking. "Then why did you tell me?"

Donghyuck's curling his fingers over his palm. He shrugs. You shrug too. "I just wanted you to know I'm not giving him up."

*

Now that Lucas knows about Mark, you can see Donghyuck's name even better on Lucas's hand, shining through the other names. Sometimes, Lucas's hands seem cleaner, less crowded, but other times the ink is so thick you can't even see Lucas's hands. Donghyuck's name is always the brightest - you don't understand why.

You wonder what's going on, wonder if he'll try to break them up just because he thinks he can. Wonder if he'd do something like that to Donghyuck when Donghyuck's name has been the biggest on his hands since the first time you really looked.

You watch him closely when he's around, try and see what he's planning because you can't get in his head, and that worries you. You really don't want to see everything Donghyuck's ever wanted destroyed by someone's careless whim.

*

Mark is sometimes made of cold edges and sometimes Donghyuck gets hurt. Even if they're perfect, they're human, and Donghyuck has a heart like glass so when Mark presses too hard, it leaves spiderweb cracks. Mark knows all the tricks of re-enforcing and supergluing and soothing, but this time he waits too long and Donghyuck's not waiting in his room anymore.

Donghyuck's not sure why he ends up where he does, but he finds himself knocking on WayV's door at two in the morning.

"Haechannie?" Lucas's voice is dark and uneven when he finally opens up. "Are you okay?" His eyes are heavy and his pants are slung crooked like he got dressed in a rush when Donghyuck called.

Donghyuck blinks a few times before letting his eyes slant shut. "I've decided to let you have Mark."

Lucas is silent for a moment. Clears his throat twice. "Are you drunk or something?"

"Mark's a lot of work. I'm tired of it." But Mark's really not, Donghyuck's just upset and lonely and tired. "You can make him happy, right?" He tilts his head at Lucas, but he doesn't open his eyes, leaves them shut so he doesn't have to see Lucas's easy acceptance.

"I... Don't want Mark. What are you giving him to me for?" He puts his hands on Donghyuck's arms and drags him inside.

"You'd make him happier than I am. You're always with him to take care of him," Donghyuck tells him.

"I still don't want him. Give him to someone in Dream."

"He's in love with you though."

"So you told me before."

Donghyuck curls his hands into fists, his fingertips brushing over Mark's invisible name. "You'd make him happiest."

"I don't care about making happy. I'd rather make you happy." Donghyuck blinks his eyes open and Lucas bites his lip because he never imagined confessing like that, never imagined confessing to Donghyuck at all.

"But he loves you."

"Yeah, and you love him." It's all kind of ironic, Lucas thinks, and you're kind of impressed he understands the concept; you wonder when you started getting in Lucas's head.

*

When Lucas kisses him, Donghyuck does nothing to stop him.

You wait around patiently and have nothing better to do than think about what life could be like with Lucas around all the time.

*

You don't know why Mark still calls Donghyuck by his full name. It's been years of warm nights and sleeping snug in the same bed, years of them, but he still starts every call the same, a little impersonal when there are so many other things he could call him. "Donghyuck."

Donghyuck yawns into the phone with Lucas laying on his arm. "Mark." His tone is dark and weary.

"You know I didn't mean it, right?" You know that's as close as Mark will get to admitting he's sorry; Donghyuck knows it too, accepts it, always has let Mark get away with the minimum. "I say stuff without thinking."

"I know." Donghyuck squeezes his eyes shut when he feels Lucas shifting awake. "It's okay."

"When are you coming home?"

"Soon," Donghyuck tells him.

"I miss you," Mark says even if it's been less than a day, and Donghyuck believes him. "I'll see you when you get here."

"I slept with Lucas," he spits out, because he's never been good at hiding things, especially from Mark, and he wants Mark to know now, to know upfront, before he comes back. Lucas freezes beside Donghyuck and Mark's breathing stops.

"What?"

"I was upset and came to tell Lucas he could... well, I came to Lucas, and then we slept together."

Lucas groans.

"I don't know what I was thinking. I was stupid. I was wrong. I'm sorry, so sorry." Donghyuck stops breathing, too.

You count the ticks of the clock until they finish suffocating.

Mark still sounds a little stifled when he speaks a few minutes later. "We'll talk about it when you get here. Don't worry."

"Okay, I'll be there soon."

But Donghyuck doesn't go home.

*

Mark calls and calls and when Donghyuck still won't answer, he shows up at WayV's dorm.

Lucas doesn't let anyone answer though and they can hear Mark pace in the hallway. "I don't care, Donghyuck. Come home. I love you, please don't leave me," he chants over and over next to the doorframe and Donghyuck hides his face from everyone while WinWin turns up the television to drown Mark out.

"Why won't you go home?" Lucas asks later that night after everyone else has gone to bed, Ten scrunching his fingers through Donghyuck's hair before leaving.

"I want Mark to be happy."

"Then go home. That'd probably make him happy."

"What about you?"

Lucas blinks. "What about me? I can survive on my own."

But you can see the thoughts in Donghyuck's head. What if Mark's been pretending all this time, what if he can't survive without Lucas?

*

Donghyuck goes to bed that night with Lucas's arm around him. He stares at Lucas's hands so you do too, watch the hanzi strokes melting off his fingers and wrists. You wonder what this means, wonder if Lucas is deciding what he wants and settling.

Donghyuck wonders if Mark is breathing, wherever he is.

*

Donghyuck has his bright idea some time around midnight on his third night of hiding with Lucas. "Look. If you're in love with me and Mark's in love with you, why don't we just..."

Lucas's eyes are bright. "Do you really think that would make you happy?"

Of course not, but Donghyuck's desperate and he's always heard that when the one you're in love with is happy, then that makes you happy. You try to tell him it only applies to selfless people, but he doesn't listen, can't listen, and Mark's name is neon on his hand. "It's what I want."

And really, that's good enough for Lucas.

*

Mark's not so sure about this, not so sure about waking up with Donghyuck and Lucas in his bed when he hasn't seen Donghyuck for days, not so sure about wrapping his arm around Donghyuck's waist when Donghyuck's been at Lucas's for so long.

"I'm losing you to him, aren't I?" It's dark, and you find yourself wishing you could see his hands one last time before Donghyuck commits himself to this.

Donghyuck smiles and it's crooked, unsure. "Don't be ridiculous," he says, and he reaches out for Lucas.

Mark breathes.


End file.
